i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
