I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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