i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
