No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
