We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
