Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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