you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
