margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
