So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
