I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
