My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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