I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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