Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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