it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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