she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
