it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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