How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she smelled like a LAN party
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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