yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
