I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
