At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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