How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
