if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
