I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
