I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
