dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
