Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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