she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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