Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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