turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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