Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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