bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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