I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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