hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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