stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
