Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
