just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
