you guys were way drunker than both of me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
