I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
