I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I still have a little drunk in my system
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
