He felt like a one man threesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
