Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
