I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
