Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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