either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
