omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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