okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
