i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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