she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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