We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
