real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
