The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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